She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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