just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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