K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
