Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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