I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
