i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
