i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
