Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
