I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
