Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize