wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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