My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
