the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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