Don't make out with my wife yet
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
