I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
