I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
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yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
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I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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