i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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