thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
