My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's blow job season.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
