she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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