Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
They have beer where we have blood.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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