Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...