about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
