hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize