Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize