they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
