Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
