My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
