You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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