DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
