thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's Friday. Sex?
I can text with my tongue
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
