I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
