Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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