she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize