Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
