the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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