Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
