I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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