she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
