he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
