are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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