Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
