the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
