Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
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I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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