i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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