It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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