I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
