What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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