all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
