She is in my trunk
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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