Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
