I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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