dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize