Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
