What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
