I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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