lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
