I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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