is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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